It began killing the love in our relationship and completely destroying the respect we had for each other...
It began killing the love in our relationship and completely destroying the respect we had for each other…

Fight the New Drug / 08 DEC 2014 – On top of sharing the science and research behind the harmful effects of pornography, we also like to share real life stories; raw personal accounts that illustrate the destructive nature of pornography in the lives of real people. The following story was recently sent to us by a young married woman who wanted to share her story about how pornography became an unwanted part of her relationship.


Dear FTND,

First of all… I LOVE your page! Secondly, I would like to share my story.

It had not been long when I began dating a guy (who is now my husband of five years), when I walked in on him watching porn. Up until that point, I had no idea. I had so much respect for him before this happened. It hurt me because this wasn’t just some casual, new relationship, he was my best friend too. I decided then and there that I was having none of that and I broke up with him in despair.

The next day I took him back, because he said “sorry” and “it will never happen again.” I could tell he truly was sorry, but what I didn’t know was that he had been addicted to porn for quite some time. Not long after this incident, I felt I just couldn’t trust him anymore. Every few weeks I would check his search history to be sure he was being honest with me and I would find links to porn sites throughout his computer. He would swear to me that he hadn’t watched it, until I told him I had checked his computer. This made me feel worthless as a person, more than words can say.

We weren’t involved sexually (I wanted to wait until marriage), but his porn use forced me to feel like I had to sleep with him or I would lose him.

So I did.

From then on, we were intimate all the time. But his addiction still continued. I began to slowly spiral into a depression that ultimately led me to attempting suicide numerous times. I always felt as though I was never good enough.

Then one day it dawned on me. What if I join in? What if I watch porn with him? So that’s what I did. And what happened was that I became just as addicted to porn as he was. It began killing the love in our relationship and completely destroying the respect we had for each other, (or what respect was left anyways). It made me a totally different person. The reality vs. fantasy was all too much for me to handle until porn seemed to become more of a reality than my actual reality.

One day, I came to realize what was happening and we both realized we needed help.

Slowly, but surely over these last few years, we began healing. We started counseling and we talked in depth about everything, which is something we couldn’t do while we were drowning in the world of porn. It took a long time and it was hard, but I knew I had to throw out those DVDs and we had to ditch the computer.

We did everything in our power to save our marriage and now we are happily married (I can finally say this and have it be the truth!) We have been porn-free for a few years now. We have our trust back for one another, as well as our respect. I guess you could say, love took hold where porn left off.

Thanks for all that you do!

Fighter


This story is actually more common than you might think. It is not uncommon for the partners of porn addicts to end up looking at porn as well, either out of curiosity to see what they’re being compared to or in a desperate attempt to salvage the intimacy in their marriage. Just recently we received another inbox message from a young married woman saying this:

Help! My husband has had a porn addiction for several years now and it has nearly ruined our marriage multiple times. He had started to take things outside of our marriage. I’m so hurt and confused that I actually looked at porn today. I’ve seen it before but I never dwelled on it until now. Are there any Fighters whose spouse, although never tempted by it before, have suffered this? I feel like total crap. I know that porn won’t give me the love I’ve been craving from my husband. Please keep my name out if you post this publicly. Thank you!

These are real stories from real people who have had their relationship torn to shreds by the addictive nature of porn. Partners of addicts, who look at porn just to try and relate to their significant other, can find themselves addicted right along with them.

What You Can Do

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Source: Fight the New Drug

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